Through The Storm. ( Previously Published On Bella Naija)

Picture this: You, in the company of a few friends have decided to take a boat trip. Halfway to your destination, you encounter a storm. The winds are heavy and the waves come lashing at your boat, daring it to withstand their fury. Initially, you are afraid but not so much. Why? Because you reckon it will pass as quickly as it came. But boy, were you wrong! Thunder claps heavily and the storm gets heavier, tilting your boat from side to side. When earlier on, you observed the wind and tried to take cover, now you know if this storm continues, you will sink. You had been the one re-assuring the others that you will all be just fine, that the storm will pass, now even you are beginning to show signs of fear. Indeed you have exhausted all the tricks and methods of survival you know of and yet nowhere in sight is there any sign of dry land. At this point, no one is smiling. Tensions are high and you start blaming each other, fighting and cursing each other out, some of your mates start to cry, asking God if really this is where and how their lives will end. But all of that does not stop the raging of the storm; it's force is heavy and dark clouds hang over you, damage begins to show on your boat and you can tell you are about to start sinking. You want to run, but there is no where to run to. You'd like to hide, but where?

Happy New Year, Happy 1st Birthday ATF And My Second BellaNaija Post! (UPDATED)

 

It's amazing how fast time has flown! Just the other day, we were ringing in the new year and before you can say Jack, it's the 21st day of the year! It reminds us in a way if how much we need to take note of and attend to the small, seemingly infinitesimal things before we lose out on the opportunity to do so. So without much ado, and even though it's taken me 21 days to get around to doing this with my dear friends on this blog, I have to wish you a very happy new year! I cannot but say how much my life has been touched by everyone here and I do sincerely hope I have been able to do the same for you. I pray for goodness and mercy to follow you in 2014 and for Gods grace to fill you in all that you do.

On another note, this blog is 1! Again, how time flies! Feels just like yesterday, but damn (pardon my French) it's been a year already. Last but not least, I wrote my second piece for Bella Naija, a popular Nigerian blog that I would like to share with you all, dear friends. You can totally dismiss it if you read it on BN already, but if you haven't please take the time out to read, I hope it inspires you as much as it did me.



A Reason To Be Thankful

The story is told of how, recently in a US restaurant two men walked in and asked to be served by the grumpiest waiter. The owner said they had no grumpy waiters and offered to seat them with the happiest waitress instead. The men accepted the offer and were sat with 18 year old Abigail Sailors. Abigail was bright and cheerful, and served the men their order; turkey dressing special with eggs and sausage.

HONEY, JUST LOOK HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME!

Did you miss me? Cos I sure did!

A very happy new month to you dear friends out there! In what appears to be the twinkling of an eye, what started as a place to write and inspire others has in 5 months kept me so busy and opened up doors to other opportunities, sometimes it appears unbelievable. In 5 months I have met some pretty incredible people and encountered stories so close to home they make me remember and appreciate the incredible power that lies in the heart of the human soul. 5 months? Yes 5 whole months. Someone once said the most important commodity handed to man is time. I agree with that line of thought, because indeed there is no amount to what you can achieve in what appears to be so little time if you put in the right effort and dedication.

FAILING FAST ALL THE WAY TO SUCCESS.

I enjoy reading, it's a trait that was imbibed in me right from an early age. My father was your average black, educated-but-I-want-my-kids-to-do-better kind of man and he believed any spare time you had should be spent studying or engaging in some form of reading or the other. Hence, we always had books available; if they were not bought, they were brought in from the library. My brother and I read everything; fiction, non-fiction; James Hadley Chase, Sidney Sheldon, Jackie Collins, Agatha Christie; we read biographies; from Michael Jackson's to John F. Kennedy's to Stevie Wonder's. We read about Motown's Berry Gordy, Helen Keller, Louis Napoleon Bonaparte even Adolf Hitler, all these way before I even turned 12. If it was in black and white and on paper, we consumed it within hours, no matter how big. I remember us turning up in the school library asking to borrow encyclopaedias; such was the sheer hunger for knowledge that we had!

I find even today that I still have that same hunger for knowledge and with the internet and its huge volume of information, my quest is just simply insatiable. (I still love books though) Trust me, the internet is really what you make of it so if I am reading about someone and they mention another significant person, I'm all up on google researching the life out of that person. More recently, I am interested in inspirational stories, real life ones that get me pushing hard for my dreams. I love them even more when they have stories of failure at the beginning... ah, that gets me all in. And this quest for knowledge was what made me stumble on the remarkable story of Jason Njoku, the CEO of  IROKO PARTNERS, an online media distribution company focused on the Nigerian Entertainment Industry.

Njoku's idea for a media platform where all things African Entertainment: music, movies and celebrity interviews would be available for everyone to access anywhere in the world at an affordable price was born when he was trying to get his mother an African movie to watch online and he couldn't find any. He immediately contacted his friend Bastian Gotter and sold the idea to him and the two set out to tackle a problem that the Nigerian movie industry had been trying so hard to tackle before that time; piracy. By December 2010, Iroko Partners was born and within the first four months, they had bought the online rights to 500 movies from 100 different one-man production houses. Today, IROKO PARTNERS is the largest global licensor of Nollywood movies online. Tiger Global, a hedge fund run by an early investor in Facebook and Zynga has invested $8 million into the company and today IROKO PARTNERS is the fastest growing internet company in Nigeria and YouTube's biggest African partner with distribution deals with Amazon, ITUNES and Daily Motion. All these within 2 years. All these from a self-professed failure who grew up in a council flat in South-East London. All these because when Jason Njoku failed at first, he dusted himself off and tried and tried again.

Failure should not and cannot define you, me, or anybody for that matter. Failure is not a problem, it is the bruised ego that we suffer as a result of the failure that makes us take the stand never to go through it again. What we fail to understand, however is that failure is a necessary ingredient to success; in order to succeed and succeed well, we need to fail. Failure opens our eyes to our mistakes and allows for us to either perfect an original idea, re-define it or discard it altogether and build another one. It helps us build persistence, a necessary virtue that will ensure we stay at the top of our game when we eventually succeed. Other times failure occurs because the real opportunity is lying untapped right beside the one we are struggling so hard with; and without us failing at it, we never will make use of the real thing. Failure helps us to build our resistance, the more we fail, the more resilient we should be at succeeding. We must understand failure is great for us to define the path of our success, if only we learn to manage it well.

You might ask, How then do I manage failure?

1.) Keep trying.

Everyone fails, everyone. In fact, it is better to approach a new venture with the knowledge (not belief) that there is, indeed, the slight possibility of failing at it. The best thing to do therefore, will be to keep yourself open to trying new things. Be a learner. Research opportunities and look out for problems as it is in them that most big opportunities lie.

2.) Be wise.

Don't just 'hope for the best' and jump at every opportunity thrown at you. Take a look at that project and do a honest assessment " What are the chances that it will be succeed?" What are the chances of failure? Which one is greater? If the chances of failure is higher than that of success, it's probably not worth it to to go into the venture at all.

3.) Recognize failure when it stares you in the face.

Sometimes we are so busy trying to make something work that we do not realize we have failed. Because we know and have heard it said too often that persistence is necessary for success, we keep on trying where obviously there is no need to. Recognize when you have failed and don't be afraid to admit it. Get feedback where possible, get advise and seek professional opinion, don't get too emotional, zone in on yourself and your abilities; in short be your own competition. Try ideas in a safe place, don't be all out if you don't have to. Start off on a small scale so that even if it fails at that point, you can bow out with very few people even noticing. Above all, recognize when it is time to cut your losses. Don't be afraid to move on.

Don't give up. Fail, but ensure you are failing on the way to success. Shine the light at the end of your own tunnel and don't be afraid to swim lagoons, break barriers and if possible change paths and directions in order to get there. You can do it! And you can do it now.

Love & Light,

A
xx

"Intelligence is not to make mistakes, but to see quickly how to make them good."- Bertolt Brecht.

Would you re-marry your Ex?

 I got this anonymous piece from a lady based in the US and promised to share it. I have put up a picture of Kobe and Vanessa Bryant, and Nene Leakes and ex-hubby Greg Leakes who have recently decided to re-marry after breaking up. The question is: would you do it? Do you reckon it is a good idea to re-marry an ex? Read below and let me know your thoughts! And please feel free to share!

"I met Tayo* in high school back home in Nigeria. We both had mutual friends and instantly fell in love with each other, spending every little free time we had in each other's company. Our love blossomed and soon everyone including friends and family became aware of our relationship and offered their full support. A few years down the line, Tayo had to travel to the US to study and needless to say I was distraught, but I held on to the hope that we will see again and bid him goodbye. It was to be another 4 years before we would set our eyes on each other.

While Tayo was gone, I focused on trying to secure admission into an American University so that I could join my boyfriend. Eventually I did and joined Tayo, and we both quickly settled down together. We picked a wedding date and married quietly in the presence of few friends and family. However, soon after the wedding, I uncovered heartbreaking proof that while I was still in Nigeria, Tayo had been seeing a girl who went to the same college as he did. The girl had even spent time with Tayo in the home we shared, cooking for him, cleaning and all the works. I was distraught and brought up the issue with Tayo who immediately accepted and apologised. However, all these apologies fell on deaf ears as I wouldn't have none of it, I was intent on getting a divorce and get it I  did; the marriage was annulled almost immediately.

Motivational Mondays:YOU TOO CAN WIN! NIGERIA WINS GOLD AT ACN 2013

Yipppeeee!! My beautiful country is the champion of African football! How sweet does that sound?!
 
 

I am soo proud of these boys, they have totally done us proud! It's been 19 years since we won gold in football and it feels good to be back. After years of repeated failures and gambles, we are on top again and its totally amazing!

Maybe you share a similar history to that of Nigeria, you have labored and toiled for years without recording any success. You have invested your time, energy and resources on countless ventures that have yielded little or no positive results. Now you are at the end of your tether, you feel giving up is the only option as you are at a seeming crossroads.

Hold on!

You too can win!

Races are hardest at the final few laps, just ask Usain Bolt. But victory is for those who hang in there and do not let go of the dream! You can still win, if you do not give up.

Go into this new week with that playing in your head..I can still win, if I do not give up! It might take longer than you envisaged but it will be perfect timing. The journey might be harder than you thought but I promise you, you will see why at the end.

Just hold on. The world will rejoice with you soon.

Drown out the Negativity!

 

To attain and retain success, one needs to effectively master the art of being immune to negativity. Sometimes we are the ones who have our thoughts running riot and we end up having negative thoughts trying to distract us from our goals. But most times it is the words, actions and declarations of people close to us, sometimes even people we look up to and respect, that threatens to do damage to our aspirations. I have read time and again, success stories of individuals who at one time or the other, and at the very beginning of their success journey, have heard words from friends and family that 'stab as a sword'. It appears then, it is imperative that we all learn how to manage the outcome, watch our reactions and never allow such to hold us down.

If there is a word I have for you today, it will be this; Find your passion, hold on to it and never, ever let it go! Work at it, polish it, prune it, master it, invest in it, make it better and work, work, work on it! Be so busy mastering your craft that you have little or no time to respond to nay-sayers.  Don't be so busy bothering about what So and So said or why it might never happen. Fact is, it must have happened for someone in the past. And if it has, it can happen for you too if only you will believe. Negative criticism is a necessary ingredient to success, get used to it.

Check out these stories if you are in need of more inspiration: Elvis Presley is known as the King of Rock and Roll. But back when he was still unknown, he got fired after just one performance. His manager, Jimmy Denny, told him, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”

Oprah has emerged as one of the top role models for today. She is rich, successful and shows genuine care for the people. But she endured an abusive childhood and numerous challenges to get to where she is now. At one stage, she was fired from her job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for tv”.

I don’t think of myself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.
- Oprah Winfrey

The original Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was rejected by a dozen publishers; including big houses like Penguin and Harper Collins. Bloomsbury, a small London publisher, only took it because the CEO’s eight-year old daughter begged her father to print the book.

Before she published the Harry Porter series, J.K Rowling was in poverty, severely depressed and a single parent. She went from depending on welfare to being one of the richest women in the world in a span of only five years through hard work and perseverance.

Need I say more? Get off your seat and get on with that dream. Ignore your negative thoughts, and ignore those of others. Believe in God when He says to you "With Me (God), ALL (not some, but all) things are possible.

What other assurance do you need?

Love & Light

A.

Inspirational Sundays: There is only one YOU!

Have you ever wondered who you are and why you are here? Here as in in this world? I have. It has been said that the questions "Who am I"? and "Why am I here? have been divinely deposited within our hearts so that we are able to, at some point in our lives connect to a deeper pre-deposited purpose and a higher being in order to achieve that purpose. I believe that. I also believe that you and I have a path that has been carved out for us as individuals, a unique path identical only to you and to your personality which can never be duplicated and which we need to be rooted in God and in ourselves to figure out.

As a child, I used to love adventure stories. You know the ones where ancient maps had to be dug out and then followed in order to find long lost treasure? Imagine life being like that. The roads on a map are many and could appear confusing; but that is if you don't know the exact road you are looking for. Usually the roads are named and there are paths that lead you to individual roads. Some paths are longer, some paths are shorter, some paths straight and some crooked, some paths stony and rough and some paths smooth, some weedy, some thorny but they all lead somewhere; a named, designated, pre-designed place, filled with treasure and abounding with blessings. That place was not just created when you found that map, it had been there hundreds, probably thousands of years before you were born.

So it is with you. Your life path, clearly cut out, your chosen road is on a map and it has been way before you were even concieved.  To find your purpose in life, you need that map; you need God and you need His Word. By this I mean His Word the Bible which when prayerfully studied leads to you hearing and recieving direct instructions from God. Remember the adventure story I referred to at the beginning? The pirates had to first find a map, without that map they could not embark on the journey as if they did, it will be a wasted, futile journey. Some of us have wandered around for so long, lacking purpose, direction and instruction, wasting time, effort, energy, our youth and money. We strived hard, sometimes applying the wisdom of men; "The 7 principles of success" Keys to breakthrough" and then wondered why those keys are not opening any doors. The answers lie in God, only in Him can we plunder, strive and understand why, because He gives us a vision, a purpose so clear we can't let go of it. Does that mean there will be no problems? Absolutely not! As with a map and its user, the road can be rough and the journey tedious. There could be obstructions, obstacles, the car's headlights might get broken, petrol might just run out, the car could break down, there could be road works and road blocks, diversions and replacement buses (lol). It will rain, it will snow; all these are circumstances we have no control over. But one thing is for sure, we will surely get to our destination if we do not give up!

"Storms make oaks take roots." - Anonymous

"Once you realize there is a Higher Power, you know you're not alone, that you have a purpose on the planet. You control your destiny instead of letting the day lead you where it may. You seize it, take it and lead it." Queen Latifah

Love and Light

A xx